Psalm 90

scout

While nursing this morning, I read Scripture.

I love how nursing forces me to stop, kick up my feet, often enjoy AD to myself, and even read! If the girls haven't tried to climb up on my lap, TOO, or brought their toys over to play around me and AD, it can be a really sweet time to read for my enjoyment alone.

Psalm 90:11, 14, 16 & 17 (NIV) spoke to me:

11 WHO KNOWS the power of your anger? For your wrath is AS GREAT AS the fear that is due you.


14 Satisfy us IN THE MORNING with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.


16 & 17 May your deeds BE SHOWN to your servants, your splendor to THEIR children. May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; ESTABLISH* the work of our hands FOR US--yes, ESTABLISH the work of OUR HANDS.

I need these reminders everyday. God is GREAT, and HE should be my fear above every horridness. 14 is beautiful. How good it is for my spirit to be filled each new day with God! God's love is constant; He is LOVE. Finally, God allows or doesn't allow. Whether I want to see Him or whether I want my work to be worthwhile, I need to ask Him to make it so.

*Thinking on "establish." It means to make firm or stable, to cause to grow and multiply, to put into a favorable position.

Waiting for a Baby, Part II

...Arriving at the hospital, contractions were around 50 seconds long every 3-4 minutes. We were in ACTIVE labor, but my talk and walk weren't being interrupted, at this point. While Espi found a temporary home for the truck, I walked up to the check-in on the birthing wing and greeted a small, bored group of nurses behind the counter who were skeptical, too. Instead of taking me into their own hands when I told them my labor signs, they sent me to my clinic to have me pass my doctor's "inspection" first. (Fortunately, my clinic is in the hospital building.) She determined I was 5cm, 100%, and 2+. "You are ready to have a baby!" she excitedly announced. However, my face couldn't show quite the same excitement. I just remember feeling, "I KNOW he is ready!" and mentally, trying to get geared up for the hard work ahead.

spurmarks

We stepped into our birthing room around 10:30am. A nurse capped off an IV and monitored vitals for 20 minutes before we were free to walk around.

This was the sweetest time, walking, talking, joking, and working through tougher contractions. The floor was unusually quiet, only one or two families laboring. We ran into a newborn being wheeled around by his beautiful mom who delivered by cesarean, and we chatted a little while. We passed a room that had a very young woman (maybe a teenager) birthing. From what her friends shared with us in the hallway, she was scared and getting an epidural, and it reminded me of how scared I was during induced labor with our first.

Our nurse wanted us back in an hour to monitor 20 more minutes. By the time we headed to our room, contractions were strong and causing me to stop in my tracks. A simple truth I was holding onto was, "Each contraction is helpful. Each contraction will end." Also, with each contraction I was reaching internally for God's peace. This MUST be where the phrase "labor of love" got its origin, because that's exactly what we were doing!

The most unique feeling in this laboring experience that Espi and I both noticed and talked about later was feeling alone, in a sense. The nurses did their jobs, but there was a lack of warmth, joy, support. I asked for a natural-labor-supporting nurse from the start, but the woman who introduced herself as my nurse really didn't end up having anything to offer in this regard. Much of the time, the hospital help were on-lookers, waiting on the side-lines, while Espi and I worked it out together. And maybe this felt so strange because our second labor experience was so FULL of support and encouragement.


unknown

Truly, it was OK, though. I had everything I really needed, good personal knowledge and past experiences, Espi to lean on physically, and God to lean on in every other way--and they were so good and strong for me.

The second monitoring of vitals was difficult. I stood and moved through contractions but was limited by the length of the cords. At this point, I felt like I needed the freedom of movement more than ever. I was seriously considering spending the rest of laboring soaking in a huge jet tub in our room if I still had several centimeters to go. But it never happened, since I was found to be 9-9 1/2 cm, and moments later, the nurse accidentally broke my water! Right then, I remember asking Espi for the time. This boy was going to be here soon, and I guess I wanted to remember how long the pushing took. He said the water broke at 12:30pm.

Now my nurses and doctor were taking positions, getting supplies ready, and watching and waiting. With all the positions I tried to aid labor and bring relief, surprisingly what got me through was standing, simply leaning into and holding onto Espi, seeking God's help and peace, and breathing through it. WONDERFULLY, the contractions were manageable! Now the pushing, on the other hand...

I had spoken with my doctor about not wanting to rush the process once we reached 10 cm; I wanted to be able to read this boy and my body. It was SO uncomfortable to recline on the bed near the end. Partially I stood, and partially I sat against the bed. It was awkward; no position felt quite right. Contractions seemed to ease up some, BUT I wasn't feeling the urge to push, yet. After a while, my doctor showed some concern with the Doppler reading of Baby's heartbeat and asked me to start trying to push. Sitting on the bed with my feet in 'stirrups' about as LOW as they could go to the floor, I weakly tried to force it. Soon after with URGENCY, Doc, Espi (he told me later Doc's reading of the situation made him nervous), and nurses prompted me to push with all I had. Still with no urges, I gave my all and boar down through the most painful part, and with a couple of those this boy entered the world at 1:06pm FACE UP*.


unknown

He was wonderful, healthy, and alert! We held him close, loved on him, and I said thank you over and over again to everyone present for helping. Really, what I was feeling was, "Thank you, GOD, that this work is over, and he is here!"**

*We heard from a nurse later that it is common to not feel urges to push when in back labor, when the baby is face up, because the positioning of the baby's head doesn't tuck into and push against the pelvis like "normal."

**I will wrap up Abran David's coming with another post remembering unique and praise-worthy details in the future!

Waiting for a Baby, Part I

IreneS
He was due November 22. Our last check up was at 38 weeks gestation, measuring 3cm and 50%.

My doctor looked at me with a smile, "Do you want your membranes swept?" Without hesitation, "No!" came out. We both laughed, mine tinged with anxiety, and she just saw the humor in a very pregnant woman not wanting to push the process...if we didn't have to.

I liked being in that position, getting a say in the YES OR NO. With our first, the doctor told us to step on over to the hospital because an induction was needed. With number two, we were faced with a "ready-or-not-here-we-go" moment.

We walked out of that check-up with our next appointment scheduled in less than a week, on the afternoon of November 16, which included an ultrasound requested by Espi. He wanted the peace of mind that fluid levels were safe since this was an issue with both of our girls. We couldn't know at the time, but that next appointment would be MINUTES AWAY from the birth of our son.

Worth noting, our doctor NEVER had concerns with any measurements or test results during this pregnancy. Even my Group B Strep*, which was an issue with the girls, was NEGATIVE this time.

The night of November 15, I drank my raspberry tea while doing a good stretch of yoga. And I slept unusually well.

While stepping out of bed the next morning, I felt very strong lower pressure. After showering, I remembering telling Mom, who arrived a week prior, that this boy felt READY. For a change, I rested on the couch that morning while Espi started work from home and Mom prepared breakfast for the girls.


collected on Sabino
About 7:45am, I recognized a rhythm of low discomforts and began to track them. Contractions were long enough and close enough together that Espi and I packed the truck for the hospital. Driving, we were excited but pretty quiet as I continued to track my contractions. Joy and peace was added to the moment, when a new song by Lee Ann Womack came on the radio called "There is a God." The music and words were a gift from Him, a reminder that He was along for the ride, too......

*I spoke with a midwife and learned that Group B Strep is often tied to an acidic PH level; so I tried to keep my alkaline levels higher in my diet this pregnancy.

Interest in the Ordinary

This past year my sister Jeanne handed me a book that inspired her. I ended up turning every page inspired, also, by the creators' initial idea, by the book's simple, gentle, authentic feel, by the art and beauty seen in the ordinary. This book A Year of Mornings: 3191 Miles Apart shares two women's worlds through the lenses of their cameras in the softer light of their mornings each day for an entire year.


In December when my sister told me of her plan to capture daily a photo for 365 days in 2010, and THEN when I was SURPRISED New Years Day that Stephanie Nielson is doing the same thing this year, I have been so excited to see pieces of these two special women's lives in a unique, creative, thoughtful way.


On Saturday this past weekend, I decided to take my camera along as I went about my morning from about 6:45 to 10:30. The idea is so interesting! I have only done it for one morning, but it caused me to slow down, think more thoughtfully about what was around and in front of me, and look for interest in the ordinary. Looking back on my shots, I realize how easy it is to take a picture BEFORE or AFTER "an event," but how very unique and interesting it can be to stop in the middle of DOING to notice and photograph the "in betweens." This is a taste of my Saturday morning:



Through the joy I am getting from following Jeanne and Stephanie, I expect that I will become more aware of the beauty in the everyday. And even though I won't be on the same photography adventure this year, I will let the inspiration impact the way I look at my family and my personal doings and surroundings.

Go here to follow Jeanne and here to follow Stephanie this year in photography.